When I Think Back To It
When I think back to it, it has been a
Life governed by a fear of water, and then
A desire to be composed of glistening, salty,
Oceanic water. But I already am-
As humans, we are 60% water, and 40%
We are ridiculous, you and me, me and you.
You are my deepest tides, the blue in your pupils
Came straight from the Atlantic, as did I.
I never knew why we didn’t live by the sea,
But I will spend the remainder of my life
Striving to. Hoping to. Knowing that at least,
When I eventually get my idyllic cottage by the
Water, my Ted Hughes fantasy of being removed
Of everything, I will remember writing this poem,
And I will always fucking remember how my brain
Determined that every song on my writing playlist
Was a portrait of your closed-off, and burning soul.
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